I MARRIED MY HUSBAND I KNEW HE WASN’T RIGHT FOR ME

I MARRIED MY HUSBAND I KNEW HE WASN’T RIGHT FOR ME

What is it about marriage that makes people commit their life to someone when they know it isn’t right?

Is it the certainty that you will have someone ‘till death do us part’? With 50% of marriages ending in divorce I am not sure marriage offers this kind of certainty anymore

Is it about status? Being married makes you feel a sense of belonging, a sense of pride and a sense of togetherness. I am a somebody because I am a wife.

Is it a lack of education and understanding of what marriage really consists of, what it really means.. that it is more than a white dress and three tiered cake?

Is it the constructs of society that has lead you to believe you need to buy into the production line of life.

Get Married
Have children
Go to University
Get a job

but at what cost!?

How much has not questioning if your decision is really what YOU want cost you?

How much has not having the confidence to speak up cost you?

How much has going with the flow and along with others because ‘it’s the right thing to do’ cost you?

At what cost does knowing in your heart of hearts, your soul, and every fibre of your being that the person you married was or is not the right person for you?

It is about time that we start to work marriage instead of letting marriage work us

Making us its slave

Spitting us out when the going gets tough

These woman tell me that their marriage made them feel dead inside

They hadn’t made love for years with their partner

These woman have been married for 20 + years

Over 20 years they have felt dead inside

Is a wedding to marriage, what chemistry is to a solid relationship – not an indicator of true happiness

Isn’t it time we teach our children the difference between a wedding day and marriage. What marriage stands for and the importance of choosing a life partner?

Isn’t it time we teach our children how to stand up for themselves, think for themselves and not to just follow the leader.

The constructs of society have lead you to believe to be successful you must, and I emphasis the word MUST have these things;

A husband
Children, 1 of each gender is preferred
A house
A car
A job that enables you to climb some version of the corporate ladder.

So we enter into ‘arrangements’ and set ourselves on the path to obtain said things.

Because that’s ‘success’ and when you have such things you will feel accomplished, complete and you would have ‘figured’ out life.

It’s not even about being perceived to be successful, it is what we are taught to believe needs to happen in life or how life plays out for us all.

Follow the leader.

Marry young, die old and in between try and rack up as many things that make you stressed out, overwhelmed and unhappy and disguise it all as ‘success’

Because gaining ‘things’ makes you happy.

All too often clients come to me feeling empty and ‘dead inside’ – these were actual words of how a client described herself. Regardless that her life looked perfect on the outside.

Although it isn’t the outside that makes us feel joy, happy, loved or any other warming emotion you can think of.

Life starts from within.
Love starts from within
Joy and happiness come from within us

Marrying the wrong person can bring you pain-

The emptiness
The loneliness
Months even years without intimacy
Lack of love
Lack of closeness

The list can go on.

L xx

Lauren Blundell
lauren@laurenblundell.com